Then the last few days I have been on the verge of tears constantly, and if you know me, you know I DON'T cry....why so weepy? Oh probably pregnancy....all the hormones, super sensitivity, all that. Happened after I had the boys too, I remember weeping at "America's Got Talent"...no really, it was pathetic.
Then I was driving near the shelter today (not too near, that would be dangerous) to drop the boys off with a friend. Then I saw a connection between the weepy and the puppy. Two years ago, around this time, we lost our first baby. Yea, she was a puppy, but she was the first baby that Evan and I raised (for too short of a time), and taught and nurtured together. She was our everything. If we couldn't take her we didn't go. She was well behaved, knew at least 30 commands, and we talked to her like she was human, and she acted like she knew what we were saying. She ate raw meat, because it was best for her. We looked into every aspect of dog ownership and made decisions based on what would keep her healthy and happy.
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It was hard for me to sew after we lost her. It was hard for us to do a lot of things. We still have trouble when we about her sometimes. We miss her everyday in our lives. We talk about how good she would be with the boys. How much she would enjoy having her own yard. It still seems so unfair that she didn't get to see the boys grown up. And get to grow up with them.
Really I'm surprised I didn't connect the weepy and the puppy desire sooner. When I feel sad, she is still the thing I want to cuddle with.
I still want a puppy, I don't think I will get one, seems like a bit much with a baby coming and everything. But I still miss my little girl so much even after 2 years. I know I will never replace her, but there is something about the way a puppy loves you, and how you love a puppy. Hopefully I don't drive by the shelter any time too soon, I feel like I would go home with a puppy. I doubt my husband would be thrilled....
We lost our Tipper 13 years ago this October. She was our first dog. Our baby. We cry for her to this day inspite of all the wonderful people and animals that come in and out of our lives. We will always miss her. There are some that just always stay with you!
ReplyDeleteI don't doubt that we will also never love another dog like we did our Buzz. He was more then that after all-he was not just a friend, but a brother to an only child at that time... Truly our furry child. It def doesn't help when the death is more tragic either. As if death period is ever not heart wrenching ... All I know is if we feel this way after only a short 5 years... Well, he will be forever loved & missed... Time heals all wounds...
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